Crucial Conversations

by Randy Taylor

Last Sunday Pastor Brock preached on this subject.  He talked about the 4 crucial conversations between God and Elijah, Ahab and Obadiah, Obadiah and Elijah, and Elijah and Ahab.  You might want to read that last sentence again to try and get it straight in your head.  In 1st Kings Chapter 18, you can read about each of these conversations.  Although each conversation was different, all of them were crucial to the parties that were involved.

Where I work, we have available to us a 2 day course on how to conduct a crucial conversation.  This tells me the importance that should be placed on a crucial conversation should be high.  At our company we know tough decision have to be made and crucial conversations are critical to the success of these decisions.  I believe it is just as critical in our lives outside the work place.

In 1st Kings Chapter 18, God had a plan for reaching Ahab.  He knew that a crucial conversations through Elijah and Obadiah was needed for His plan.  The conversations had to be at the right time and with the right message.  I think there are at least 4 things we can learn about crucial conversations.

  1. Start with prayer. This is probably obvious, but I believe it is overlooked many times.  Each crucial conversation we have should start with prayer when possible.  We should seek guidance on the right time to have the conversation.  We need to ensure we have the right heart for the conversation.
  2. Sprinkle in lots of love. Most crucial conversations go better when they are delivered with a heart of love.  Think back to times when you were on the receiving end of a crucial conversation.  If it was delivered with a heart of love, you were more likely to receive the message.  Without love there is a high potential for the conversation to become heated and emotional.
  3. Add in listening. A conversation is a two way street.  If only one party is doing all of the talking it becomes a monologue.  Listening shows you care about the conversation but more importantly you care about the other person(s) in the conversation.  If you listen, you may learn more about the others in the conversation and realize the things in their life where you can help.
  4. Try to end with agreement. In almost every crucial conversation, an agreement can be reached.  Sometimes this takes compromise from both parties.  Other times one party may “see the light” and realize the need to change or take action.  Reaching agreement will give all involved a sense of accomplishment and a better spirit of working together to accomplish the goal.

I am sure there are more ingredients that make crucial conversations successful, but hopefully, these suggestions will help when you are faced with the inevitable task of having a crucial conversation.

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